I love that my job is very rarely customer-facing because I’m a horrible feral gremlin woman unsuitable for public consumption, but sometimes I wish I did more field work b/c I really cannot express how great it is to be the one who gets to tell rich people that their mcmansion’s foundation is subsiding
I stand in front of some tech startup asshole who makes more money in a day than I do in a year. I lift up my hard hat so I can twirl my hair around my finger while I giggle like an excited schoolgirl. “So, like, we need to talk about sinkhole remediation and stuff…”
the secret to being a cool adult is to wear things that your younger self wanted to wear but couldn’t and to do things that your younger self wanted to do but couldnt
every time i eat one of these fucking things my soul goes away and i become a mafia boss smoking a fat fucking cigar pondering the next sap on my hit list
